Know Your Values

[00:00:04] Welcome to Transform and Lead. I'm Bron Stephens, ex CEO turned executive coach who is all about women, uplifting women. I know what it's like to question whether your way of leading is enough. You've worked hard, you're ambitious, and you want to do big things without having to fit into someone else's mold. This podcast is here to give you practical, powerful ways to own your ambition, femininity and power so that you can lead with confidence, your way. [00:00:30] Today we're talking about discovering your core values and how that enables a journey into authentic leadership. [00:00:36] And what we're really talking about here is when you make a decision and it just feels right, even if it's not the easy choice. When you've walked away from something knowing that it wasn't for you, but struggle to explain why, that's your values at work. And when you know your values, and I mean really know them, decision making gets so much clearer. Your energy stays higher. And even when things don't go your way, you can stand by your choices without second guessing yourself. But when your values aren't clear, instead of getting that real clarity and that energy, your boundaries get slippery because there's no solid foundation to push back from. And your energy gets drained because you keep making choices that don't feel well aligned for you. And your confidence takes a hit because deep down, something feels off. So today we're going to sort that out. By the end of this episode, you'll have a practical way to uncover your core values, a step by step process to test and refine them, and a simple way to apply them in daily leadership. Let's get into it. [00:01:42] Let's start with talking about aligning leadership with your core values and the impact that that leadership has when its values aligned. Values aligned Leadership isn't just a nice to have, it makes a real difference. Research shows that leaders who center decisions around values and purpose drive better performance, higher engagement, and more trust in their leadership. And personally, I have seen it over and over in the women that I work with. When you lead from your values, you make stronger decisions. You own them, and over time you create real momentum in your career. If even better is that you stop ruminating on whether you should do something one way or another, because you can fall back on your values and you just know what it looks like to make a good decision and to take action with surety of knowing that you are values aligned. Part of this is making sure that your personal values and your organizational values align. Because if they're not in alignment and if your personal values don't align with the lived values of your organization, not just the ones written in a mission statement somewhere, you're going to find yourself in a really uncomfortable situation and feel like your energy is getting drained every time you have to show up and work in that space. [00:02:52] So for me, my values are freedom to adventure, meaning I want to try new things and experiment, to innovate and improve and excellence for others. And this one is about making decisions that create outstanding results for people, customers and business. The win, win, win, you might call it if I was going for the big hype. But when you're not having that win, win, win between you and your organization, no one's winning. Your people aren't enjoying the space that they're working in, you're not enjoying being in that space, and you're not getting the results that you should be getting. But again, this is all gonna come back to knowing your own values. Let me share a moment from my own career where my values made the call for me. One of those moments that I see play out time and time again for the women that I coach. [00:03:38] A few years ago, I was leading an innovative unt, the kind of thing that lights me up. And my team and I had put in the work, we had tested, we'd refined it, and we were gearing up for implementation. And it was huge. This piece of work was all the way through the organization. We were going to make significant changes, cost savings and improvements if we implemented it right. And it ticked every single one of my freedom to adventure boxes. And I got to make the pitch, come up with a concept, do it end to end, and really get the energy and the joy that came from that. And I was working crazy hours. The pressure was immense, but at no point did I feel that I was just in a place of real joy and flow when I was working in this space. But then came the moment of truth. The go no go decision to go from concept to reality. And this was a really high risk environment. If we got it wrong, the impact was going to be massive to people, to customers, and to the organization. And some significant issues had just come to light. That meant the foundations of the program were no longer in place to be successful. All of the foundational work that we thought had occurred actually hadn't. And so we got to the start line, or what we thought was going to be the start line, and jumped on this go no go decision. And there was nothing ready for us to go from. [00:04:58] However, the pressure to launch was intense. Financial targets, leadership, expectations, all eyes were on us. And I remember being on this call at 5:00am and as I prepared for it, I thought to myself, what does excellence look like here? I knew the answer that everyone on that call wanted was yes. But the answer was clear. We weren't ready and we were going to fail. So at 5am on a high stakes call, I said, no, Go. The pushback was immediate and aggressive and ultimately I was ignored and the project went ahead. [00:05:30] It was definitely one of those, well, why did you freaking ask me? Moments in my career and no surprises. The project failed. It damaged people, it damaged customers, and it damaged the business. Why do I share this story? Because not once did I second guess myself. I knew I'd done the right thing even when I wasn't listened to. I'd set up a project in line with my values and I had made a call in line with my values. And yes, the aftermath of that was challenging when everything went south. But I was again able to lean back on my values to guide the recovery efforts. What does it look like if we've got this freedom to adventure and how we recover? And what does it look like if we're aiming for excellence for others? And whilst I'd love to say I was the bigger person not saying I told you so, it took everything in me not to say those words out loud. [00:06:19] But I didn't need to because in the aftermath of that go decision, my boss came to me. He apologised for ignoring my judgment and he offered me a promotion and a pay rise. And he did that because even when people don't agree with your values, they respect when you stand by them. And sure, the project failed, but I was the sole voice on that call with the courage to stand by my values and say no, Go. And that was what was remembered and recognized out of that entire fiasco. And I see this play out all the time with the women I coach. When you lead in alignment with your values, it works out far more often than it doesn't and it builds your confidence in your decisions over the long term. However, by the same token, most women I coach don't really understand their values. [00:07:05] What I want to talk about now is how to find your core values the right way. [00:07:10] Let's walk through the process that I use with my clients to uncover core values. And it's one of the first things that I do when women come to work with me because mostly the clients that I work with aren't fully in touch with their values. And if you think you are still work through this process with me and consider if you really are. This isn't just about picking words that sound good. It's about identifying what drives you as your guiding principles. And full credit to Brene Brown here with her work data lead for shaping so much of the approach and how I put this in place. [00:07:41] So step one, you want to commit to doing the work. And this is deep work. It's not a tick the box exercise. You don't bang it out in half an hour and move on. Your goal is to spend the time, do the introspection and land on two rock solid words or short phrases that define your values. Not three, not five. Because realistically no one remembers five values. And when the pressure is on, you don't want to be having to claw around in your mind to figure out what your values are. You want something that's so easy to call to mind that it's your go to without having to think. And more importantly, you don't actually need three to five. [00:08:19] Two guiding principles will encompass everything that's important to you by identifying what your motivating factor is. And that motivating factor is what's going to push you to do the thing that's most in alignment with who you are. Bear with me. We'll step this through so you can see how to get there. Step two is identifying your shortlist. Grab a values list. There's one in the show notes, or you can google it and find one. And circle the words that resonate with you. I don't want you to overthink this. I just want you to go with what feels right without going overboard. So you don't want to end up with everything on the list circled. But what are the things that when you look at those words, you think, that is who I am and how I show up and how I want to show up. And ask yourself as you go through, when have I felt happiest and most fulfilled and what was I living into? [00:09:08] When have I felt frustrated or resentful and what value was being stepped on and who do I admire and what values do they embody? And use those questions to help you to think about who you are and how you show up. But be true to yourself. Don't pick words just because they sound good or like something you should have. It's really easy to do things like circle the word integrity because who doesn't want to be in integrity, right? [00:09:35] Not circling a word doesn't mean that you don't have it or you're not bringing it. It's Just that it's not what motivates you. So not circling integrity doesn't mean you don't have integrity. It means that it's driven by something else potentially. So you only want to circle the words that when you see them, they spark a moment of yes, this is how I make decisions. [00:09:54] And it's about what drives you at the most instinctual level. Once you've got that list, you want to test your values as step three. You want to put each word that you've chosen side by side and consider if one motivates the other. So for me, for example, one of the words I initially circled was equity and inclusion. Because for me, you can't have a solid workplace. You can't do great things without having everyone at the table and included and wanting to be there. [00:10:23] But when I tested equity and inclusion beside excellence for others, it was excellence for others that made me show up and drive for and speak up for and make sure I was the voice at the table to get equity and inclusion in the room. It's because my commitment for excellence for others demands that I have equity and inclusion. Remember, not including it doesn't mean it's not important. It's just that it's not what motivates and drives you. So look at the words side by side, do that comparison, and think which value drives me more and which one is the root cause of the other. And by the end of the exercise, you should be able to get down to two core values that define how you show up and make decisions. And you want to keep going until you land on two. This exercise does work. It just might take you a little bit of time. And the key things here is to make sure that you step out of words that you should have, or words that you think look good, or words that you're comfortable telling someone, because these aren't about anyone else. They're about you owning wholly who you are and how you show up. And finally, step four, operationalizing what your values look like in action. [00:11:36] You want to understand what each of your values, looks and feels like. How you show up when you're living into it, and how you show up when you're not. Brene Brown calls this operationalizing your values. And I think that's a beautiful way of talking about it. And it's about creating this deep connection, connection to what the value means for you so viscerally that you can connect to it physically, emotionally and rationally in a moment. So to do this for each value, you want to ask yourself, what are the Three behaviors that show up when I'm fully aligned with this value and what does that look like, feel like and sound like? When do I feel most out of alignment with this value? And what happens to me, to others, to the situation? [00:12:18] And describe a time I was fully living into this value. What did it feel like? [00:12:24] Doing this helps you to really connect into what that value is when it's operationalized. And by doing all four of these steps of committing, identifying, testing and operationalising, you're going to ensure that you have a deep understanding of your most intrinsic motivators and guiding principles. It's going to help you to know what you can lean back into and feel safe, because that's what your values should feel like, the safe harbor for you, even when upholding them is tough. And upholding them is tough, because these values need to be upheld with boundaries and boundaries of steel. But once you know what your values are and what it feels like to be out of alignment, upholding these boundaries is so much easier because you know where you want to be playing and you know what it takes for you to step into that uncomfortable space to make sure that you are living in alignment with your values. [00:13:15] And it's at this point that you're bringing your values into your leadership. Because uncovering what your values are is step one, and identifying that you need to have boundaries is part of that. But then you want to live into them and that's where the real change is going to happen. And so when you integrate your values into leadership, you do a few things. Firstly, you use them as a filter. So for any big decision, or when considering how to step into a situation that's challenging for you, ask yourself, does this align with my values? And what does it look like if I do this, living into my highest values? As leaders, we make these big decisions that have significant impacts on our people. And by fully understanding our values and acting in alignment, it makes failure safe for us. Although, let's face it, most of us successfully fail anyway. And we usually learn and adapt for anything that doesn't go our way. [00:14:02] But I've seen people agonize over how to engage or how to get a result. And realistically, all they needed to do was to think about what their values are and then act in alignment with that. If someone else doesn't like or respond the way you want them to to your values, that's okay. You can't control their responses or their emotions, but what you can control is how you show up. [00:14:26] The next thing you want to do is you want to be transparent. So you want to share your values far and wide. You want your team, your leader, other people to know what your values are and what it looks like when you're working in alignment with them. It's a strength that people admire and it's actually at the core of authenticity. So strong leaders have strong values and people see them living those and they respect the Clari and they understand what drives you when you shared what your values are and then they see you living them. It's really very, very powerful as a leadership tool. [00:14:58] And finally, you want to lead by example here. So you want your. Your actions to prove what matters to you. And you just never let people question why you did what you did, because they know your values, they see you living them. And when you're strongly aligned to your values, it forces you to be authentic and it gives you the power to hold your boundaries. It's when you act out of alignment with your values that people lose trust and respect. This also means that you need to decide if your values align with the organisation you work for or if not, what you need to do about it. Coming all the way back to why it matters to understand your values at work. And when you don't align, that's time to start thinking about what your next step is going to be. [00:15:40] As we close out today, this is just a reminder that leading with values is a lifelong practice. [00:15:46] So as you grow, your values deepen and they'll guide you through even bigger decisions. But what never changes is the power of leading from a place of alignment. If you're ready to do this work, you can grab the Values Identification Workbook in the show Notes and if this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend, leave a review and follow the podcast. And if you want to keep this conversation going, I would love you to find me on LinkedIn under Bron Stephens and let me know what your thoughts are. Thanks for tuning in and I'll see you next time.